She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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