and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
