I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Someone signed my nipple.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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