i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
