Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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