it wasn't lemon gatorade
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
