therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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