So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
