there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
