Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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