So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
