Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
