Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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