and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize