OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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