you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
