This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
