Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
