Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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