Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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