I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
