My first STD was from a foam party
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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