You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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