yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
