i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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