So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
