You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
