lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize