ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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