She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize