ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
