We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
