If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
