Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
