Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Less talking, more tequila
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
