I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
