i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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