i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
