ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
