No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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