i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
