DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
