What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
