My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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