She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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