She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
