Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
