the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
