She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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