yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
