That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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