thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
