I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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