I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize