how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
