She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
time to smoke my breakfast
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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