just come out here and I will go home with you...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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