Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They took my balls.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
