it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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