the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
