we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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