When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
