IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize