All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
