singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
